Our new website is finally online! This time I have designed the format myself, was present at all the shoots from beginning to end and all my experience as a three time babywearing mother has been poured into the website: It's beautiful, practical and with my third child I really noticed that babywearing can be a savior in difficult times. Our little guy had totally turned our lives upside down. Constant Breastfeeding, wanting to be held all the times and sleepless nigts during the first two years, etc.
Like many other babies, he cried a lot in the evening for the first few months, but it always amazed me how wonderfully wearing helped in this situation: Before I would put him in the carrier he would be crying and whining. My older children were hungry and impatient to eat. I myself was tired and exhausted from the day and everything felt hectic. Once I had put him in the carrier, suddenly he would be satisfied. It would get quiet and my older kids would stop screaming loudly just to be heard. Everyone would relax. That's when I realized that babywearing works like magic.
I talked with a lot of other parents about how things worked for them and that was when a pattern emerged : Babywearing has a catch. It works best as a calming effect, when the baby is used to being worn. As of course we are a full-time babywearing family, we had the feeling that everyone else was also constantly wearing, but I do not think that is true. There are many, many families who mostly use a pram whilst out and about and who only want to babywear occasionally, if at all.
Of course I think that's ok. Every family decides that for themselves but during the baby months there are often difficult phases where the baby wants to be carried, whether the parents want it or not. This is when you will experience problems with the pram and carrying a baby in your arms is not a permanent solution. The baby carrier could be a life saver in these phases. It could, if you take note of two things:
Babies need consistancy and routine (you can notice this whilst on holiday or just after you return. With the routine gone and kids really excited, what worked out before, does not work anymore ...) *. To have the calming effect you must wear a little every day. The magic spell says that one should wear for one hour each day. Of course, you do not have to take that to the second, but it should be absolutely regular and I find that an hour is a really good, manageable time.
I firmly believe that the babywearing time is always with our children. In the subconscious, the closeness and security is there forever. Of course, babywearing is not a soloution for everything. There are so many factors that shape a person. But the foundation makes a difference, as in when you plant a tree. In nutrient-rich soil, the tree can grow tall and strong. Countless studies in developmental psychology show how important the first months of life are for babies and how important closeness and security are during this time. If more babies were carried for at least an hour a day, many tears would not be wept, many parents would be more relaxed and family life could be more harmonious.
The babywearing time is not only reflected in our children, but also in us. You never forget the feeling of having this little human being so close to your body. Babywearing also makes us parents strong: We have a better understanding of the baby's everyday life, are more relaxed and calmer and this translates to the children, the partnership and the whole family’s life. How beautiful is it to feel that being close to us makes our baby happy. Never before and never afterwards are we more important to another person. In retrospect, wearing has become even more special to me. I know it's a very short window of opportunity that never comes again. That's why we should use it!
My children love the stories of their birth and how they were as babies. They love it when I tell them that were cuddling up to me and daddy for a whole year and what babywearing adventures we've experienced. Running home through a heavy thunderstorm, or trudging through the snow at minus 25 degrees. Taking a ferry together on vacation, or pacing up and down the aisle on an airplane. The world out there was stormy and exciting, but we protected them, they were very close to us. They look at us with big, astonished eyes and the children feel how magical that time must have been. This even touches our otherwise cool teenage girl.
The wand is a symbol of all this. Set up in the home as a decoration, it reminds future parents that babywearing will be a wonderful and magical experience but also that it's essential to wear regularly. It is a extraordinary gift. Instead of the standard gifts like a baby rattle or babygro, you give something really special. Later on, the wand can be given to the child and forever be a reminder of the time spent babywearing
Incidentally, the magic wand is very expensive to produce and is actually uneconomical for us. Of course we could have had the wand produced cheaply elsewhere, but it would have lost a piece of it’s magic. It should be special, like wearing. And so each wand is made by hand and with much love.